Radical self care recovery healing is the best way to breakthrough. There is nothing so stifling and limiting as not being able to care for yourself or allowing yourself to stay in a position where you cannot release and go forward.
One of the most common forms of not letting go is getting angry.
Anger is one of the most destructive emotions you can cultivate. Yet, we live with it every day and we must learn to manage our own personal relationship with anger so that we do not infect others with it’s toxicity.
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Anger begins with impatience, then grows to a focus on the object or person, magnifying their bad qualities and only seeing negative attributes and behaviour up until the point that the object or person is actually wished to be harmed.
When we are angry at something, we amplify the bad qualities to such an extent that the person actually appears unattractive and unpleasant enough for us to actually really believe that harm would come to them. And that is not radical self care recovery healing.
Over time, and this could be in minutes or over a lifetime, we build up a list of qualities so that the perosn appears and intrinsically bad person – as completely faulty and broken and irredeemable.
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Radical Self Care for Recovery Healing is about letting go of that anger, and instead allowing the person a measure of patient acceptance. Including all their faults and shortcomings and things that so obviously annoy you. Patient Acceptance is about letting the story we build around our anger, and the way we point this story at another person, about letting it go to the point that we can quietly, patiently, accept them.
Because, at it’s root, anger for more than a few seconds is not based on a autonomous physiological response, but instead on an exaggeration. This exaggeration is built over time, based on ruminating and holding onto the pain and suffering and keeping the flame of anger alive much longer than is necessary.
Anger does nothing in reality. It does not motivate us – other than to make mistakes and act without careful aforethought. Instead, anger destroys our peaces and happiness in life, and drives us to do acts that we later look upon with regret and shame.
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Anger actively blocks our spiritual growth by preventing us going further with any spiritual enquiry – instead, when we are angry, our blood is urging us to take immediate action. And the immediate action is always, without fail – wrong. In every case the ideal response to anger is to pause, breathe and reflect.
So how do we overcome anger as part of our radical self care recovery healing process? It begins, as does everything in this crazy mixed up world, with a small step. We address the anger as it begins to well up within our mind. Like a small ripple out in the middle of the ocean turns into a thunderous wave crashing on the shore – so does your anger blossom from a small inconvenience into a heaving, panting roar.
First, accept that every opportunity to develop anger is an opportunity to develop patience. When you notice that first tingle of anger, gently direct your attention over to it and allow yourself to be in the moment with the source of your anger – and then release it. let it go by instead planting a seed of calm patient acceptance right on top of the source of your anger. In the same way – it might be helpful to drink water and let yourself purify from what toxic impurities you have in your system.
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Going further with this – step outside and inhale some fresh air – better yet make your outside experience into a longer walk for an hour – or even a non stop 60 minute run. I know my preferred ways of releasing pent up anger are running non stop for an hour or more – there is no way I can possibly be angry after running up hills and along the sand for an hour without pausing to take a walking step once. At Newcastle Life Coaching we call it radical self care recovery healing.
Living with anger day after day is like living with a paranoid dragon – ready to strike out at any imagined enemy at any time. For anger is indeed paranoid, and sees threat and dischord in anything unexplained or out of the ordinary.
Carrying anger around is like having a red flag waving above your head for everyone to see. The bad energy and hostility is poisonous and only attracts more bad energy like a magnet. It is literally sending out an intention for negativity and ill omen to the world. No wonder things go so slowly and the suffering is so long and painful.
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The antidote to the certainty of suffering that surrounds anger is self-awareness – and being able to watch our mind closely at all times. As soon as we notice ourselves getting agitated – like when we are dwelling on someone else’s faults, or gossiping about their shortcomings – it is advisable to remember the poison of anger. It is so powerful to recall that getting angry does nothing to resolve any situation other than creating more suffering for yourself and the other people involved.
It is a one way ticket and the destination gets progressively worse. Radical Self care recovery healing. Far better to catch yourself as early as possible as you begin the journey into anger and pause, breathe and reflect. And then re-align your intention to be patiently accepting. Patient Acceptance is the only way to defuse anger and allow yourself to forgive and move on.